Laanat hain gerrard street par.

I think I want to start writing this post in urdu as my English has gone bye bye.

I've learned lots of Lahori slang, most of which I cannot repeat. Adeel call me when I get back. Maza layenge!

But I can give one example.

When your friend is "german" that means he's solid, reliable, trustworthy.

When he's "china ka" he's cheap, fake, and breaks down just when you need him.

My primary experience so far is with Lahore so I'm unsure as to how to proceed. If I give a good review you'll say this is also in Karachi, Islamabad etc. If I give a negative comment you'll say "oh that's stupid Lahore". Lets "assume" my experiences exist throughout Pakistan.

It takes a few days to understand this place. The complexities are so absolutely immense. What first looks like chaos is really just a natural flow.

While Canadians are generally like ants marching to the queen. (See union station or dvp at 8am), Pakistani's are like schools and schools of fish. Each one making sure they are fed, just swimming around but never actually hitting each other. Big fish eat more, and there are plenty of bottom feeders. Oh and they shit everywhere!

I've started to become a little aggressive like the lahoris. It turns out it was always in my blood.  Haggling with waiters, yelling at motorcycles. My posh urdu speaking in laws are going to think I'm a gorilla.
Pakistanis complain a hell of a  lot. But you're at the office, in a meeting, power goes out. You want to drive home, roads closed. You want to cook dinner, your neighbourhoods don't have gas. You bitch and moan, no ones listening. Not even your donkey.

After a so so restaurant experience, I've decided to stop chasing the curry. That's the Pakistan of our mothers and grandmothers and they have fed us the best karahis and keemas and biryanis we will ever eat. Nothing will compare. Although my wifes biryani is rock solid

Modern Pakistan is about having everything from everywhere but with chaska and style. Trying to avoid it is no fun. In an evening, we can enjoy the western espressos in a posh club, followed by the most beautiful gorgeous masaladar kebabs and tikkas brought in a tray to your car window while you're parked next to porsches and beemers and benzes. Asli drive-thru. Then end the night in the rowdy H block with item numbers blasting and kashmiri chai. Chas aa gaya.

Masala fries, spicy kfc, keema pizza, that's what real desi khana is now. Go eat haleem in the retirement home. (did I mention my wifes haleem is award winning?)

I plan to return and bulldoze Lahore tikka house on Gerrard street.

Bloody chinese restaurant!