OBTAINING THE VISA

Seriously Pakistan? Seriously?

You’re making ME jump through hoops to get a travel Visa? Seriously? Into a country where you know who was last seen vacationing before they took him on a cruise? Did he have to answer all of these damn questions?

So my father is not "technically" Pakistani, you’re afraid I don’t have the adequate family history to visit? What part of Azhar Mahmood Ahmad Janjua sounds like a white man’s name?  Do you think a single person in Canada has ever been able pronounce it?

Why are  you so worried about letting me in. Because I’m born in Toronto? Yeah, I’m sure there is an Orange Alert for Canadians who are eager to infiltrate Pakistan and cause trouble. What do you think I’ll do, pour maple syrup on the roads with my hockey stick? Only Quebecers do that...duh!

And what’s with all the questions about my education? Are you worried I spent my formative years in a Sunday School learning about crosses and wine and wafers and swine! I never should have put up that damn Christmas tree! Damn you Santa!

And all the work questions? Yes, I have a job. That’s how I paid for this ticket.  You really want to ensure that I have a job to come back to?  Well we wouldn’t want Canadians to just stay and take away jobs from hard working Pakistani’s. I always wanted to be something called a Chaprasi on something called Mall Road.

Anyways, well, thank you for the Visa, eventually. I’m glad to have finally proven that I am brown, am married to a brown girl, and have brown relatives. Also, I won’t stay long.

Also, thanks for not making me do the interview…..this could have been a whole different post.